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没有自由的世界,但有自由者

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匿名
匿名  发表于 2021-04-10 14:28:03



报告: 晚睡姐姐,你好。首先先容一下我自己。我是一个南方小县城的女孩,今年27周岁,工作稳定,边幅尚佳,家庭条件一般。在我这个年数的姑娘一般城市被家长催成婚。所以我的同龄人一部分挑选妥协,选个门当户对的就结了,一部分则继续相亲,希望找到阿谁对的人。而现在的我却没有成婚的愿望。我曾看过《30岁前别成婚》这本书,也遭到很多大城市新一代女性概念的影响。在大城市里27岁还很年轻。我的想法是过单身生活不竭到30岁甚至40岁再斟酌成婚,在这之前就无忧无虑谈恋爱,像门生那样。假如我是个法国人,这样的想法不希奇,追求浪漫是他们的天性。我这类想法和这个地方那末格格不入。能否我真的太不切现实......我很享用单身生活的无忧无虑,时候丰裕,做很多想做的事。我还没做好担起家庭义务的预备。都说不以成婚为目标的恋爱都是耍地痞,此外女孩城市求着男友成婚,而我似乎相反......恋爱似乎是件奢侈品,偶然辰在起头一段豪情前,感觉假如自己不能最初给他期盼的终局,有点罪行感.......
我似乎活在一个理想的乌托邦,希望那边的男女能缘于豪情自在连系,婚姻并不是必备的,而是两小我瓜熟蒂落双方自愿的成果;我还希望阿谁国家里两小我不要议论两家能否门当户对钱多钱少......不是由于我自家条件欠好就这样说,而是我没有激烈的金钱愿望,虽然我也会理财学投资,我看中的是感受,自在,豪情.......我能否真的很理想主义.......我爱小孩子,爱一切美好的事物,也会关心爸妈,关心另一半,会储备,会看书,爱音乐,我还想要怦然心动的豪情,只是后一项为什么在这个年龄就成了奢侈品,而又是为什么在这里成婚和豪情常常抵触。 我爱好理想主义者,由于能从他们身上看到热情与冒险的精神。
林语堂的父亲就是一个理想主义者,他仅仅听说圣约翰大学是全国中著名的英语大学,就空想着要送自己的儿子去那边念书,他想让他的儿子获得最好的工具。但像他这样的村落牧师,产业微薄,抱有这样的想法简直使人哂笑,没有谁真的相信他能办成这件事。后来,他靠乞贷、卖地,将几个儿子都送进了大学。
“我们家是一个绝对的胡想主义者的家庭。”林语堂这样总结。但理想主义者,绝不但仅是存在理想的幻景当中,而疏忽了眼前的生活。林语堂一边胡想着远方的开通大学,一边享用着乡下俭朴无华的生活,他和兄姐们天天除了进修,还要做家务浇菜地,在山间跑来跑去,而这段生活,对塑造他未来品德和开启生命的窗口起到了出格重要的感化。
在最普通的生活中,也常常蕴藏着最丰富多彩的色彩,就看你用什么样的心态去感受。
你追求豪情,对婚姻有自己的理想,这都无可厚非。题目是你过量的美化了远方的风景与远方的人们所具有的生活,究竟上,不管是那里的群众,绝大部分都是在为保存而奋斗。即使那些身在浪漫国家的人们,也并不要求自己不时辰刻都具有浪漫,由于他们的浪漫不是表演,而是骨子中的一种气质。
追求浪漫不即是回避生活,假如我们的身材被约束在一个地方,而心灵又向往着远方不成能具有的生活,那末就会形成精神与现实的割裂。还不如踏踏实实的寻觅自己可以把握住的幸运,做一个心胸胡想,而又在现实中扎得住根的人。
人不能永久活在云里,像那种《30岁前别成婚》这类书说的是一种人生的态度,不能完全照搬履行。生命应当是能接管任何阶段任何际遇的应战,有一种天真烂漫的宿命,不必强行改变航道。不管哪个天下中的人都不成能获得完全的自在,都需要接管现实的洗礼和改变。
正如某位作家说的那样:没有自在的天下,但有自在者。在一段普通的豪情和普通的婚姻中,也能容得下自在的意志穿行。你所能做到的,你所固执追求的,就是自在,就是浪漫。





Tell about: Sleep late elder sister, hello. Introduce myself above all. I am the girl of a southern small town, this year 27 one full year of life, the work is steady, appearance Shang Jia, domestic requirement is general. In me the girl of this age is met commonly be urged to marry by the parent. So my choose compromise partly with age person, choose a be well-matched in social and economic status writtened guarantee, one part continues to date, the hope finds that right person. And the desire that I present did not marry however. I ever had looked " do not marry 30 years old ago " this book, also get the influence of viewpoint of female of new generation of not little big city. In big city 27 years old are returned very young. My idea is too single life considers 40 years old to marry again even to 30 years old all the time, carefree before this Tan Lian loves, resemble a student in that way. If I am a French, such think of a way is not bizarre, going after romance is their nature. I this kind of idea and this place is so antipathetic. Whether I am too highbrow really. . . . . . I very those who enjoy single life is carefree, time is abundant, do the thing that wants to do more very much. I had not made the preparation that carries responsibility of build up front courtyard good. Say the love that is not a purpose in order to marry is behave like a hooligan, other girl can beg male friendly marriage, and I appear contrary. . . . . . Love is a luxury it seems that, before beginning a paragraph of feeling occasionally, if oneself cannot give him expected final result finally,feel, have the ill feeling that nod a blame. . . . . . .
What I seem to live in an ideal is Utopian, the men and women over there the hope can result from love freedom to be united in wedlock, marriage is not necessary, however the result with two individual bilateral and freewill success will come when conditions are ripe; I still hope two people in that country do not talk about two whether much money of fund of be matched for marriage is little. . . . . . Because my oneself condition is bad to say so,not be, however I do not have strong monetary desire, although I also am met,conduct financial transactions learns investment, what I take a fancy to is a feeling, free, love. . . . . . . My whether true idealism. . . . . . . I love children, love all good things, also meet considerate pa Mom, show consideration for other in part, meeting deposit, can read a book, love music, I still want the love that become really interested, just hind why did one become luxury in this age, and be why to marry to often conflict with love here. I like an idealist, because can see the drive of enthusiasm and adventure from their body.
Lin Yutang's father is an idealist, he hears testament writings brush the university is the famous English university in the whole nation merely, imagining the son that should send oneself to go there read, he thinks the son that invites him gets best thing. But resemble him such rustic minister, family property is scanty, hold such idea to make a person simply smile laugh, believe without who he can do this thing really. Later, he relies on to lend money, sell the land, send a few sons into the university.
"Our home is a very dreamy principle person family. " Lin Yutang is summed up so. But idealist, in the dreamland that is existence ideal not just absolutely, and oversight the life before. Lin Yutang is dreaming at the same time the liberal college of distance, enjoying the life with simple and unadorned country at the same time, he and elder brother elder sister people everyday besides study, do housework to irrigate vegetable plot even, run to run between hill, and this paragraph of career, to modelling him the window of prospective character and open life had particularly main effect.
In the most ordinary life, also often contain is worn most the colour of rich and colorful, see you be experienced with what kind of state of mind.
You go after love, have oneself ideal to marriage, this give no cause for more criticism. The problem is your overmuch beautification the life that the people place of the scenery of distance and distance has, in fact, no matter be the people of where, the majority is to be in struggle to live. Although those bodies are in the people of romantic country, also do not ask oneself have romance all the time, because their romance is not a performance, however a kind of temperament in frame.
Pursuit romance differs to live at escaping, if our body is manacled to be in a place, and the heart the life that yearning distance has impossibly, can create spirit and reality so cut apart. Still be inferior to the hardheaded happiness that searchs oneself to be able to hold, make earnest wish of a cherish, and the person that gets a root is plunged into in reality.
The person cannot live in Yun Li forever, picture the sort of " do not marry 30 years old ago " the manner that what this kind of book says is a kind of life, cannot copy completely carry out. Life should be to be able to accept any level the challenge of any circumstances, one kind arranges its natural fate, need not change course forcibly. The person in wh whichever world gains complete freedom impossibly, need to accept real severe test and change.
Some writer says no less than in that way: Without free world, but the person that have freedom. In a paragraph of common love and common marriage, also can allow so that next free wills cross. You can accomplish, you of a clinging pursuit, it is free, it is romantic.

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雪贝贝|2021-05-17 12:52:37 | 显示全部楼层
不容易!!!!!!!
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流年无殇|2021-05-17 12:56:43 | 显示全部楼层
自己以后要朝这些方面多思考了
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tt656592|2021-05-17 14:32:04 | 显示全部楼层
看得好累,好心痛!自己曾经犯下的错,太不应该了,真想扇自己两巴掌。
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ap2br7iu0vy|2021-05-19 14:42:19 | 显示全部楼层
定定神定定神定定神定定神定定神定定神定定神定定神
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寿光人|2021-05-19 14:50:14 | 显示全部楼层
似懂非懂。
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qusi1nide4t|2021-05-22 22:16:20 | 显示全部楼层
先观摩,后学习,再思考!
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GXO鸠山川秀|2021-05-24 17:45:02 | 显示全部楼层
挺好的,支持。
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mikeshinoda|2021-05-24 19:00:08 | 显示全部楼层
支持,顶起哈!支持,顶起哈!支持,顶起哈!
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浮生若成梦?╮彼|2021-05-30 23:50:35 | 显示全部楼层
如何把这些结合到自己的情况,得多动动脑筋。
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