找回密码
 立即注册

内向之人如何才能拥有爱情?

匿名
匿名  发表于 2020-3-15 09:43:01

我高中时代最好的朋友长得标致、健谈、外向。她不但有着使人羡慕的皮肤,美好的身段,及腰的棕色长发,而且还轻佻、刚强、爱笑。男孩们对她完全没有抵抗才能,在我看来,只要她愿意,她可以让任何人爱好她。在派对上,她总是众人的焦点,她笑声放浪、风情万种,令一切与她打仗的人都兴高采烈。在交际场所中,与她相比我总是显得那末矮胖、拙笨。

大要四个世纪以后,当我经过现代奇迹,收集再次联络到高中同学时,我惊奇地发现我并不是像我设想的那样冷静无闻。大师都晓得我,男孩子们也晓得我,即使我暗恋的男孩都晓得我,他还认可他也有点爱好我(真遗憾那时我们谁也没有对对方说出自己的苦衷,但那时我们还在上高中)。

这个究竟让我不能不重新回首我的全部高中生活,在某种水平上,从另一个越发宽大的角度,审阅我自己。

题目在于,在我们的设想中,假如想要获得他人的关注,我们就不能反面那些外向的人比谁更闪烁精明,这类想法会让人变得沮丧。但实在这也不完全正确。记得你母亲已经告诉你,假如做好你自己,那末对的人将会到来吗?你的母亲说的很对,固然这也许不是她第一次如此正确。

究竟上,你并没有和那些外向的人争“关注度”。外向的人和外向的人就似乎是苹果和橘子。外向的人灿烂,外向的人暖和。外向的人似乎是烟花,外向的人似乎是炉火。外向的人吸引的是那些自豪炫耀的人,外向的人吸引的是那些想要在你的暖和中获得快乐的人。

记得这一点,假如你是在寻觅你平生的朋友。
 

假如你来自一个不爱好外向性情的家庭(即使你不是),你能够会希望找到一个坦直的人做你的爱人,设想你能够会被轻易轻忽,大概你要表示出无所谓的样子。但究竟不是这样的。人们城市被那些让自己感觉舒服的人所吸引,也就是说你方法会自己,而且爱自己。

而且,为了吸引他人而伪装自己常常会适得其反。首先,“打广告”也要基于一定的实在性。我的丈夫至今还会提起当初在他约我进来的阿谁派对上,我穿的那件性感上衣。他总是带着一丝苦闷的口气说:“我再也没见过那件性感上衣了。”那是我第一次也是我唯逐一次穿那样的衣服。那并不是实在的我。那件衬衣不外是穿在一个展现者身上,而不是一个外向的姑娘身上。汤姆谅解我这类欺骗的同时(从某水平上来说),也让我学到:不要曲解你自己,即使一切顺遂,你也不会获得幸运的。

究竟上,就算你打扮的不像性感美人碧昂斯而是更像珠圆玉润的阿黛尔,假如你火力全开用外向的性情吸引到了一小我,然后当你们进入稳定关系后,你又展现出一个实在的外向的自己,那末这类“双面娇娃”的行为无疑会使你的关系堕入僵局。你能够吸引到了某个更爱好外向型品德的工具,但这能预示着一个幸运完竣的终局。一段时候以后,你也许就会发现,你厌恶他们对你的期望,厌恶永久不会竣事的排队,而他们也会感觉自己堕入了一段分歧适的关系中。(大门生们请留意:在某一段时候里装成一个外向的人似乎很轻易,由于那段时候里总会有派对。可是现实生活中,当派对不再来时,一切城市发生变化,而你也不能不做出尽力。)

我记得在那段青翠光阴里我试图模仿我那外向的闺蜜。终极,大大都时辰,人们总会让我感觉自己很蠢或是我获得了自己并不爱好的关注。高中期间我并没有交到男友,部分是由于我不晓得我应当展现什么。我的高中闺蜜很清楚人们怎样会被她吸引。人们爱好她卖弄风情,爱好她的热情奔放。但在阿谁时辰,我并不晓得人们爱好我什么。阿谁时辰的我很聪明可是总在埋怨。没人会说:“天啊!看看那女孩的智商吧!”我的朋友们感觉我很滑稽,但实在我只是滑稽而并不爱好取悦公共。我很轻易就同他人构成共鸣,可是像大大都的外向的人一样,我的朋友圈子很小,所以大部分的人并不领会我。

我多希望自己可以更像我的朋友妮莎,现在正在高中里上高二,“人们似乎总被我的品德和为难表示所吸引,”她说,“现实上,我的外向性情太合适我了,太酷了。”

简直,很酷。

固然,很多(大大都?)正在阅读这篇文章的人早已高中结业很久了,虽然我不清楚你们的具体年龄。可是这些年,我听到很多很多的成年人都认可他们并不爱好,甚至是为自己的外向性情感应自大,直到近年来“外向积极”论起头风行。在某种水平上,约会所要做的就是一项倾销自己的工作。可是,你没法胜任这项工作,除非你对自己的产物有信心,领会自己产物的特征。固然你有着怪异的小我优点,这是你的小我卖点,你还可以将很多美好的特点带到你们的关系中去,这都是外向的人的上风。比如说,我的丈夫对三言两语的罗唆没有耐心,而且他很欣赏我从不多话。而且我并不需要大量关心,特别是那种全天候的关心。

所以,下面将列出一些外向型品德的优点,供您参考:

我倾听你:一些外向的人以为倾听是我们最大的优点。“在我做出回答前,我真的只管去了解他人所说的话,”克里斯汀说,她是一个30岁的新婚的客服代表。“凡是在我措辞前我城市仔细想清楚,特别是一些重要的工作。我并不是说我历来都没有胡说八道,或是出口伤人过。谁不会呢?我只希望只管避免这些情况。”

我不冒失行事:无独占偶,琳妮说:“我爱好先斟酌一下当下的情况,然后再决议那种回答最好。这个方式很有用,由于说进来的话很难发出或被忘记,大概底子不能。” 大卫以为他可以和他外向的妻子成婚得益于他干事可以停下来深思的才能,“一定要多想想,而不是吃紧忙忙地做工作。”

沉思熟虑:渐渐思考暗示外向的人以沉思熟虑和权衡大局的方式将一段关系带入更深入的条理。我们需要花时候去领会我们所关心的人。“我爱好去领会和我正在约会的人的一切,而且我会只管让自己越发坦白和健谈。”泰勒说,“我是个很是虔诚和牢靠的人。”玛丽莎指出重视一对一的两人关系要比其他方式的关系越发深入。

我让你闪烁:外向的人一样也晓得给他人留有空间做他们自己的事。劳拉是个爱好外向约会工具的姑娘,她暗示让其约会工具具有自动权。对此劳拉说:“满足他们的需求并让他们不感觉遭到了威胁。” 她还说:“我也很享用与外向的人一路冒险…在他们的充分的履历中享用那种无忧无虑。所以我跟我每任男友城市说我是一个绝佳的观光伙伴。”

确切外向的人可以掌控一段冒险旅程而且帮助外向的人变得越发社会化大概让外向的人从他们的“庇护所”(或家里)出来,而外向的人也可把他本身的优点带给外向的人。

为对方供给一个恬静的空间:“我的丈夫是一个精神充分的外向的汉子,他处置销售行业而且还很是醉心于政治,我经常对他很宽大,可是自己会感觉压力很大。”克里斯汀说,“销售行业和政治城市给我丈夫以压力和愤慨,对他来说回家来享用安静和温馨是再好不外的了。”

“我爱好我自己在我们这段关系里所带来的安好和暖和。”罗伯特说,“我的女朋友经常赞叹我的冷静影响了她很多。”

用外向人的方式完成一切:道格是一个化学分析工程师(他说:“其他工程师称他们为:极客”)。道格还会吹长号,就是由于这样他才在俄亥俄州立大学军乐队碰到了他外向的妻子。

“他们都很强健,假如你不晓得若何和他们一路在行进中奏乐,那末终极你就是没法融入他们。”道格说(看看他们在Youtube上的表演,你就会晓得他是什么意义)。他上大一的时辰竭尽尽力融入军乐队但还是失利了,和其他一半的人一样。可是道格并没有埋怨也没有口出恶言,正如他现在的妻子告诉他他人练习的方式--他蹲着进修乐队若何行进,他不竭练习而且在他大二那年到达标准。他用他外向的对峙和果断的决心深深感动了他的妻子。

后来他们就成婚了,当他们遭受低谷时,道格总是用他低调的决心处理他们的题目,他为了晓得若何建立快乐的婚姻关系而不竭找寻他们的题目而且阅读有关夫妻关系的书籍。他外向、木讷可是很美好,这些成就了他久长的婚姻。

外向的人有很多优点,但总是藏得很深。可是假如你自己都没法发现这些优点,那末你更不能期望他人发现了。

你都有哪些优点呢?
 

The friend with best times of my high school is long beautiful, conversable, extroversion. She is having the skin that Ling Renyan admires not only, good figure, those who reach a waist is brown long hair, and coltish still, obstinate, love laugh. Boys did not resist completely to her ability, look in me, want her to be willing only, she can let anybody like her. Be opposite in the clique on, she always is the focus of everybody, her laugh Bohemian, amorous feelings 10 thousand kinds, make all people that contact with her elated. In social situation, always appear than me with her so dumpy, awakward.

Probably after 4 centuries, pass contemporary miracle when me, network again contact is the same as class hour to high school, I discover I am not to resemble me imagining amazedly in that way unknown to public. Everybody knows me, boys also know me, although I am dark,the boy that love knows me, he still admits he also likes me a bit (true regret in those days we the worry that everybody does not have pair of the other side to speak his, but we still are going up in those days high school) .

This fact lets me must review career of my whole high school afresh, going up somehow, from another more good-tempered angle, examine myself.

The problem depends on, in our imagination, if want to get the attention of others, who must we compare with the person of those extroversion more glaring and dazzing, this kind of idea can let a person become depressed. But this is completely not actually correct also. Remember your mother once telling you, if do good yourself, will so right person come? What your mother says is very right, of course this perhaps is not her first time is so right.

In fact, you are done not have and the person of those extroversion contends for “ to pay close attention to degree of ” . The person of extroversion and indrawn person are like is apple and orange. The person of extroversion brights, indrawn person is warm. The person of extroversion is like is firework, indrawn person is like is ingle. What the person of extroversion attracts is the person that those pride show off, what indrawn person attracts is the person that those want to obtain joy in your warmth.

Remember this, if you are,seeking the partner of your lifetime.
 

If you come from a family that does not like introversion style (although you are not) , you may hope to find a candid person to make your sweetheart, imagine you may be ignored easily, or you should show indifferent pattern. But the fact is not such. People can be let by those the person place that oneself feel comfortable is attracted, that is to say you should understand yourself, and love oneself.

And, to attract others him camouflage often can be just the opposite to what one wished. Above all, “ hits advertisement ” to also want to be based on certain authenticity. That clique that my husband still can mention to make an appointment with me to go out in him at the outset up to now is right go up, that sexy jacket that I wear. He always is taking a depressed tone to say: I also did not see “ again cross that sexy jacket. ” is me then also be I wear in that way dress exclusively for the first time. That is not me true. That shirt is to wear body of the person that reveal in to go up nevertheless, on the girl body that is not an extroversion. Tom excuses me while this kind is cheated (on Cong Mou degree for) , also let me acquire: Do not want ill-natured yourself, although everything is successful, you also won't obtain happiness.

In fact, with respect to the unlike sex appeal that calculates you to dress up beauty green jade is held high this however more the Adele that resembles excellent singing or polished writing, if your firepower a standard-sized sheet used the disposition of extroversion to draw a person, enter stable relationship when you next hind, you are shown again give a true introversion oneself, so the behavior of ” of child of double-faced charming of this kind of “ can make undoubtedly your relation at a stand. You may draw a certain target that prefers extroversion character, but this can adumbrative happy and happy ending. After period of time, you perhaps can discover, you are fed up with their expectation to you, be fed up with what won't end forever to queue up, and in the relation that they also can become aware they were immersed in a paragraph is improper. (undergraduates ask an attention: It is very easy that in some the person that an extroversion holds in period of time appears, because total meeting has a group in that paragraph of time,be opposite. But in real life, be opposite when the clique when coming no longer, all metropolises produce change, and you also cannot help doing goes out hard. )

I remember the boudoir honey that in years of that paragraph of scallion I try to imitate my that extroversion. Final, most moment, people always can let me become aware wriggle or getting his is the attention that I got I do not like very. I did not make high school period to male friend, because I do not know what I should reveal,the part is. How does very clear people meet honey of my high school boudoir be attracted by her. People likes her coquet, the enthusiasm that likes her is bold and unrestrained. But at that time, I do not know people to my what like. I at that time am very clever but always complaining. Nobody can say: “ day! The intelligence quotient that sees that girl! ” my friends feel I am very humor, but actually I am only humor and do not like please masses. I form resonance very easily with other, but the person that resembles most introversion is same, my friend circle is very small, so major person does not understand me.

I hope more oneself can more the friend Ni Sha that resembles me, second year in high school is attending in high school now, “ people always is mixed by my character it seems that awkward expression is attracted, she says ” , “ actually, my indrawn disposition suits me too, too cruel. ”

Really, very cruel.

Of course, a lot of (most? ) the person that reading this article already high school graduation is very long, although I do not understand your specific age. But these year, I am heard a lot of a lot of adult admit they do not like, it is to be oneself indrawn disposition to feel self-abased even, until in recent years active ” talks “ introversion begin popularity. Going up somehow, what date place should do is a work that promotes his. But, you cannot be competent this job, unless you have hope to your product, know the character of own product. Of course you are having distinct individual advantage, the individual that this is you sells a site, you are OK still go in the concern that heads a lot of good characteristics you, this is indrawnThe person's advantage. E.g. , my husband does not have patience to the long-winded of babble, and he very admire me never much word. And I do not need a large number of cares, especially the sort of round-the-clock care.

So, will list below the advantage of a few introversion character, consult for you:

I listen attentively to you: The person of a few introversion thinks to listen attentively to is our biggest advantage. “ is in before I make reply, I understand the word that other place says really as far as possible, ” overcomes Lisiting to say, she is the customer service delegate of a newly-married of 30 years old. “ is in normally it is clear before I talk that I can think carefully, especially a few important things. I am not to say I do not have make irresponsible remarks, or it is to export a person to pass. Who won't? I hope to prevent these situations as far as possible only. ”

I am not harum-scarum act: Not come singly but in pairs, beautiful jade Ni says: I like “ to consider the case of instantly first, decide the sort of answer is best again next. This method is very effective, because speak,be forgotten, essential perhaps cannot. ”David thinks he can marry with the wife of his extroversion profit from he works can stop the ability that think over, “ must think more, is not do a business hastily. ”

Cogitative: Ponder over the person that shows introversion slowly with cogitative head a paragraph of concern more thorough administrative levels with the means of balance overall situation. We need to spend time to know the person that we care. I like “ everything what go knowing the person that dating with me, and I can make myself more candid mix as far as possible conversable. Taylor says ” , “ I am a special faithfulness and honest person. ” Ma Li Sha points out the relation that pays attention to one-to-one two people relationship to want to compare other way is more thorough.

I make you glaring: Indrawn person also knows to take the job that the space does themselves to others likewise. Laura is a girl that likes extroversion appointment object, she expresses to let its appointment object have active right. To this Laura says: “ satisfies their requirement and let them did not feel to be browbeaten. ”She still says: “ I also very enjoy the person with extroversion to take a risk together … is enjoyed in their abundant experience the sort of carefree. So I follow friend of my every Ren Nan to be able to say I am a superexcellent viatic associate. ”

Really the person of extroversion is OK the palm controls a paragraph of venture itinerary and the person that helps introversion becomes more socialization perhaps lets indrawn person the “ shelter ” from them (or in the home) come out, and the person that indrawn person also can bring extroversion the advantage of his oneself.

Provide a quiet space for the other side: “ the man that my husband is an energetic extroversion, he is engaged in selling a profession and special still be bent on politics, I often am opposite he is very good-tempered, but oneself can feel pressure is very great. ” overcomes Lisiting to say, “ sale trade and politics can give my husband be mixed with pressure indignant, will enjoy calm and warmth to coming home for him is again good do not pass. ”

I like “ myself is in what what we bring in this paragraph of relation is halcyon with warmth. ” Rob says especially, my girlfriend often highly praises “ my affected her calmly a lot of. ”

The means that uses indrawn person is finished everything: ? Х of  of Wo of column Qia Ju Huan treats Yu こ to drip Γ ㄋ  carries?ldquo; other engineer to call them: Extremely guest ” ) . Doug still can play trombone, because,be such wives that he just established university brass band to come up against his extroversion in Ohio.

“ they are very strong, if you do not know how to be mixed their afoot play music, so final you cannot blend in them namely. ” way squares formed by crossed lines says (the show that watchs them to go up in Youtube, you can know he is what meaning) . On him big one when go all lengths blend in brass band but still failed, with the person of other in part. But Doug did not complain to also go out without the mouth invective, his present wife tells no less than the kind of his others exercise- - he is crouching to learn band how to advance, he practices ceaselessly and be in he is big that years of 2 up to mark. He holds to indrawnly with him and sturdy determination moved deeply his wife.

They married later, when they encounter trough, doug always uses his low-key determination to solve their problem, the issue that he concerns to know how to build happy marriage and seeks them ceaselessly and the book that reads concerned spouse concern. His introversion, Mu Ne but very good, these accomplished his long marriage.

Indrawn person has a lot of advantages, but always hide very greatly. But if yourself cannot discover these virtues, so you cannot count on others to discover more.

What advantage do you have?
 


回复 天涯海角搜一下: 百度 谷歌 360 搜狗 搜搜 有道 谷粉 雅虎 必应 即刻

使用道具 举报

2

主题

2731

帖子

5463

积分

金牌会员

Rank: 6Rank: 6

积分
5463
QQ
(_少爷訫ゼ|2020-3-24 22:24:34 | 显示全部楼层
这个确实还是很受教了。
回复 支持 反对

使用道具 举报

您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

本版积分规则

挽回爱情秘籍
挽回爱情挽回婚姻测试
最专业挽回爱情挽回婚姻机构如何选择?
热门挽回课程
关闭

挽回推荐 上一条 /3 下一条